Understanding the Problem

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations” (Matt 28:19a). This sentence ought to resonate in the heart of every believer and lover of Jesus Christ. Yet for many Christians, this command isn’t met with much enthusiasm. It is either done purely out of duty or simply left for pastors and spiritual leaders. Now, as a spiritual leader in college ministry, and an introvert who finds more comfort in solitude, I confess I often feel temptations of this nature.

However, I am convinced that with a simpler understanding of what Jesus has asked us to do, we can overcome our challenges and engage in fruitful discipleship. I summarize this simpler understanding as being Alongsiders.

To be an Alongsider is to have the joy of journeying with others, not for our sake, but theirs. It is to move with hope and a goal, yet at their pace, and it is to partner with the Holy Spirit as he shapes their understanding of God to behold the beauty and majesty of Christ. This is the heartbeat of an Alongsider and a disciple-maker. But before we dismiss it as just another rebranding of the same daunting task, allow me to share how the Scriptures helped me grasp this understanding of discipleship, and what it entails.

With a genuine desire to see students impacted by the gospel, I often found myself in two unpleasant predicaments in my ministry: either frozen from the personal inner turmoil to give in to my introverted tendencies or overcoming them only to fall into awkward conversations and one-sided lectures about the gospel. So, I find great comfort in the Scriptures, which taught me what I believe to be the heart of an Alongsider through the lens of Christ. On the road to Emmaus, in Luke 24:13–35, our Lord demonstrates the three most basic yet fundamental marks of an Alongsider: curiosity, patience, and fellowship.

Curiosity

Our modern culture trained us to mind our own business. This has led many not to expect anyone to be interested in their lives. While some might find comfort in it, most people are actually suffering from it given that we were not made to live such isolated lives. Curiosity, then, becomes a blessed gift for both parties—restoring pathways for fellowship with one another as God intended. I am convinced curiosity is our entry way to discipleship, to actually see people and be interested in their whole existence.

The Lord Jesus truly saw people and was always curious about their context. In the account of the road to Emmaus after his resurrection, Luke records that, “While they [disciples] were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them… And he said to them, ‘What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?’” (24:16–17). Though he knew the answer very personally, the Lord still demonstrated genuine curiosity. This led his disciples to tell him all that was in their hearts, their hopes and confusions, “But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel,” they said (24:21).

Following in the footsteps of the Lord, we, too, must demonstrate curiosity toward those we choose to walk alongside. Heart-reaching curiosity often leads to the place of hopes, hurts, fears, disappointments, and ambitions. It is there that the Alongsider finds fertile grounds to sow the seeds of trust and life-changing discipleship.

Unpacking Patiently

When curiosity has found the ground of trust, then it is time for the long and patient work of clearing and planting. “Beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself” (24:27). It is hard to imagine how long it must have taken for Jesus to interpret the entire Old Testament Scripture to his disciples. Furthermore, considering the Gospel accounts’ clear portrayal of the disciples’ difficulty understanding the Lord’s teachings, we can safely conclude that it took a lot of patience.

As Christians, we might know more about God than the people we seek to disciple, at least I hope we do. But an Alongsider seeks to enter people’s lives with patience, keeping in mind that the journey is theirs and not ours. For many, initial misconceptions must be corrected before considering new information. A mentor of mine often says, “The gospel takes time to unpack.” To be an Alongsider forces one to slow down and offer people what they can receive. As Jesus himself said, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now” (John 16:12). Without curiosity, a discipler fires into the dark, but without patience, the discipler can suffocate his or her listener.

It is easy to disguise impatience under the pretext of care and a desire to see others grow. But the Alongsider framework reminds the discipler that it is the journey of the disciple. This mindset moves the Alongsider from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat, albeit with the map. An effective discipleship is one that finds its hearer in his or her context and enlightens the eyes of the heart to behold the beauty of Christ by the work of the Spirit.

Fellowship

Fellowship flows naturally from curiosity and patience. It calls for more meaningful and intentional times spent with one another characterized by presence and space. It has become clear to me that people are more likely to remember those who made space for them to wrestle with things, ask questions, and just be an encouraging presence. By drawing near the disciples, Jesus walked with them at their pace, Jesus made space for his disciples to wrestle with their current understanding of the Messiah. This may include some steps backward or lagging in progress, but it fosters love and genuine care. The apostle Paul writes about his discipleship to the Thessalonians, “being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thess 2:8).

Fellowship reminds us that people are not just a project but people we love and with whom we long to spend eternity. So, we begin down here on earth.

By way of summary, I believe that to rekindle the passion of making disciples and overcome our initial barriers and challenges, we must adopt and own our positions—we are Alongsiders. This means that we are sojourners, alongside other people, who demonstrate a heart-reaching curiosity, patience in unpacking the truths of the gospel, and an earnest desire to fellowship with those we seek to disciple.