I was called to the mission field, and nothing was going to stop me—not my wife, not two governments, nothing. And then, the call changed. Or maybe it was never there in the first place? Life as a missionary alumnus has brought as many questions as answers.

I “heard” God’s call to the mission field in late 1992. Looking back, part of my hearing involved a deep need to do something that would make me worthy. After getting married in 1995, my wonderful wife wasn’t too keen on
leaving America. But eventually, I convinced her, and we moved overseas. It was a bumpy ride full of joy and pain and grief and difficulties and fruit and new life.

Then we got expelled from country number one. Not to be deterred, two years later we moved to country number two. Again, she wasn’t keen; again, my calling won out. Same story, second verse, and then we got expelled again. One year later, we moved to country number three. Similar story, third verse, but this time no expulsion.

Fast forward eight years, and God had done deep work in our character and relationship, but our first child was heading to university, and the tension was high. The time came for marriage counseling. Two years later, with much healing and trust built, we made the decision to return to the States—in three years.

In 2019, after three children had left for university and much work had been done to hand over leadership, we filled a container and moved home for good. The transition was brutal. We moved to a place we had never lived and started going to a wonderful church we barely knew. Our youngest three children (fifth, sixth, and eighth grades) had grown up in Türkiye and now were living in a foreign country (their passport country) away from their friends. Financially, we lost a good chunk of our support and went into debt. I could go on and on, but seven years later, we are grateful for God’s faithfulness in leading and loving us and our kids.

This issue of MF focuses on missionaries who have returned to their home country. You’ll read about the struggles, sorrows, joys, and God’s faithfulness through it all. This issue is for those of you supporting workers to help you better understand what moving home means. Agency leaders and mission pastors, please read these articles, share them with your missions committees, and take action to plan for those who return. Missionary alum, read and see that you are not alone. On-field workers, read and consider what you may need to do to prepare.

Many missionaries feel unseen and devalued upon returning to their homeland. Their identity is in transition as much as they are. Missions doesn’t easily translate into their new culture. What can they do? Some want to stay in ministry, some don’t. Some stay committed to a missions focus, some don’t.

For many, this is the hidden cost of missions. Nobody mentions it on the front end; no mobilizers are highlighting the difficulties that will eventually be faced upon returning.

But with all this laid bare, Laurie and I can both say now without reservation that we are thankful for those years, and the authors in this issue express the same sentiment.

So, dive in and experience the other side of missions, as well as our regular columns including a new one.

May all experience God’s deep love wherever they are, 
Duke Dillard

P.S. You may notice a dearth of authors from outside the US in this issue. I tried to recruit non-American alumni authors, but I failed. So, if you or someone you know is a field alumnus from outside the US, please send me your story, and we will do our best to publish it. Email: [email protected].