[24:14—“Pursuing movements in every unreached people and place.”] 

“Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one” (John 17:11).

“The most common reason missionaries go home isn’t due to lack of money, illness, terrorism, homesickness, or even a lack of fruit or response to the gospel. Regretfully, the number one reason is conflict with other missionaries.”1

While serving in Southeast Asia, I saw, and experienced, multiple conflicts among missionaries. The most intense conflict our large team ever had was over whether to celebrate Thanksgiving together in a restaurant or home. Stress was high and triggers abounded. Thankfully, we navigated it well, and our unity survived.

Conflict abounds in our world, including in missions. Among the issues: assumptions and unmet expectations, miscommunication and cultural misunderstandings, stress and pressure, comparison and jealousy, power struggles and politics, differences in values and priorities, irresponsibility, insensitivity, sin, mission strategy, and more. A common stressor on our team was differences in raising children. This proved much harder to navigate than agreeing on our mission strategy and priorities.

Many helpful things have been written about addressing conflict. Multiple tools seek to help us identify the role of each party involved. Yet a major contributor to every conflict is rarely mentioned. Recognizing and addressing this factor is the missing piece in pursuing peace. Nowhere is this missing piece more needed than in mission efforts.

Ken Sande writes in The Peacemaker, “A conflict generally involves two basic ingredients: people and a problem.”2 This overlooks a third basic ingredient in every conflict: spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 states, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

If we don’t address the role of spiritual warfare in a conflict, it’s easy to assume that the people involved are fully responsible for the problem. For example, if one party is responsible for 20% of the problem, the other party (or parties) must be responsible for the other 80%. Often, both parties are willing to take responsibility for a percentage of the problem, yet continue to dispute who is responsible for the remaining portion. It might be the evil one. A few simple, biblical steps can overcome this missing piece.

Recognize

Conflicts are an invitation to curiosity.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (Jas 1:5).

Recognizing the spiritual dynamics involved is an essential first step in addressing conflict. To facilitate this, whenever possible, encourage all parties involved to pray together and invite God into the conflict resolution process. Help them find and celebrate foundational things they agree on, and move toward being on the same side—on God’s side and in opposition to evil forces. Together, bind and rebuke any role of the evil one, in Jesus’ name. Ask God to lead the process and reveal any spiritual dynamics involved. Pray his peace over these issues.

2 Corinthians 10:3–5 teaches,
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Ask God to reveal any strongholds involved, whether they be personal, group-wide, or location-specific.3 Pay attention to patterns that emerge, such as both parties feeling betrayed or not valued. Be aware of the general context. For example, one party might live in a location with strongholds of division and trauma. Another party might live in a location with strongholds of miscommunication and fear. The combination of these factors can exponentially increase the complexity of any other issues involved.

Recognizing any root issues contributing to, or being triggered by, the problem is another important factor in pursuing peace. Ask God to reveal to each party what root issues might be involved for them. This will often include things each person or group fears or is seeking to protect.4

Redefine

Conflicts are an invitation to grow.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Col 3:12).

Encourage each person to invite God into every part of the conflict. Ask him to open their eyes to unseen realities and root issues and seek to understand the other party’s (or parties’) perspective. It’s often helpful for each person or group involved to take turns sharing their perspectives. After each party shares, the other party (or parties) summarize(s) what they’ve heard. If there are any inconsistencies, the person sharing clarifies and the other party tries again. This process continues until the person sharing feels the summary of their perspective is sufficiently accurate.

Restore

Conflicts are an invitation to pray.

“Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1). “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt 6:9–10).

Pray God’s kingdom opposites over any strongholds contributing to the conflict, together whenever possible.

For example, pray light over darkness, faith and love over unhealthy fear, hope over despair, faithfulness over unfaithfulness, healthy trust over doubt, truth over lies and deception, unity over division, clear communication over miscommunication, trust over mistrust, peace and security over trauma. Find Bible verses to fuel your prayers. Stand on God’s promises.

Ask God to restore what was lost and bring more of his kingdom. This part of the process includes addressing root issues, wearing our spiritual armor (Eph 6:10–18), developing healthy boundaries, releasing offenses to God (Matt 18:21–35), and choosing to love and bless others.5

Rejoice

Conflicts are an invitation to worship.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess 5:16–18).

Work together, within healthy boundaries, to resolve the conflict. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Rom 12:18). Leave the rest with God. Wait on him. Worship. Continue to pray for full victory. Know that he is working all things together for good. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28).

Add the Missing Piece

Ken Sande’s “A Peacemaker’s Checklist” states:

Whenever you are involved in a conflict, you may apply the four basic principles of peacemaking by asking yourself these questions:

1. Glorify God: How can I please and honor the Lord in this situation?
2. Get the log out of your eye: How can I show Jesus’ work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict?
3. Gently restore: How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?
4. Go and be reconciled: How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?6

I suggest inserting an essential first question before this checklist:

• Gain spiritual perspective: How can I help everyone involved address the spiritual warfare elements in this conflict?

Add this missing piece to every conflict resolution situation and model.

Conclusion

Conflict is part of life and can be a major hindrance in bringing the good news of the Prince of Peace to those who don’t yet know him. Every conflict invites us to learn, grow, pray, and worship as we invite God in and, by his power, Recognize, Redefine, Restore, and Rejoice.

God calls us to pursue peace, including the often-missed piece of spiritual warfare. He is in us and we are in him. He holds the victory. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matt 5:9).